The older I get the harder it gets to do what I love to do. It’s not because of my abilities but it’s because of my responsibilities. I’m 30 years old and I look back at how my life has changed in the last five years and I’m amazed at how far I’ve come but also how many more responsibilities I have.
I finished grad school and I got married and now I have a daughter. Having a family is truly a blessing but it does come at a cost. In fact, I’ve been meeting with some other young families and it seems like everyone is struggling with the same issues.
When people are single, they have a lot of goals and the ambition to accomplish all they set out to do and when they get married, their energy is directed towards their spouse. When they have kids, their goals start to slow down and for some; the life gets sucked right out of them. One day they wake up and realize that they can’t move to that city they always wanted to live in or they don’t have the capital to start that business they always wanted to start.
Young women really take a hit because when they are expecting a child, they are hit with the reality of one day having to go back to work. If a family has always lived on a two-income budget, it’s really difficult for one spouse to stay home with the kids. However, this is happening more and more like if we are back in the 50’s when women were considered to be more stay-at-home-moms.
It’s a good shift, however the problem couples deal with are typically related to finances. Couples are just making ends meet and going through savings faster than they imagined causing huge stress on the marriage.
If you are a young couple reading this, I highly recommend getting out of debt one credit card at a time or one student loan at a time before going to a one income family. Do it for your marriage and for your future children. There is nothing like being able to make ends meet on a one income family, everything else is icing on the cake, as they say.
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I definitely agree with your message and your advice. Being married and neck deep in debt just adds more stress to the relationship. Though I am currently in the process of getting divorced, our debt was never really the cause of too many arguments. Her spending habits were, but we just kind of ignored the massive amounts of debt we were accumulating, hoping that someday it would just magically disappear. Well, it didn’t. And now I’m getting divorced and I’m making a valid attempt to get out of debt….alone. It’s not easy.